Disclaimer: This blog post is meant to be taken in good humor, and does not reflect the true essence of the Montenegrin people – maybe a small minority. We have met many hardworking, driven, and passionate Montenegrins who are dedicated to their pursuits.
Introduction
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to our introduction of the “10 Montenegrin Commandments.” These are commonly sold as souvenirs in Kotor and Budva.
In this blog post, we’ll explore the culture of laziness and relaxation that is sometimes associated with Montenegrins, and take a satirical look at these commandments.
Commandment 1 – Man is born tired and lives to rest.
Well, personally I can’t remember how tired I was when I was born – who does? But it can’t be particularly easy growing and being hurled around by an umbilical cord.
Who needs ambition, motivation, or a sense of purpose when you have a bed to snuggle in? I mean, what’s the point of living if you’re not napping, right? The Montenegrin commandments have got this one nailed!
Read Also: Is Montenegro a loud country?
Commandment 2 – Love thy bed as you love thyself.
Our beds are our sanctuary. They’re our happy place. Our escape from the world. So, let’s all cuddle up and remember to show our beds the love and appreciation they deserve. After all, they’ve got our backs – or rather, our backsides.
Commandment 3 – Rest during the day, so you can sleep at night.
If you’re feeling a little tired, a little sluggish, and a little lazy, then go ahead and nap the day away. Who needs sunlight, productivity, or a life outside of the duvet, anyway?
Combine this with the 4-day week – and now we are talking!
To be honest, with all the nightlife in Budva, who would want to sleep at night.
Commandment 4 – Do not work. Work kills.
Working is overrated. It’s boring, it’s tiring, and it’s just plain unhealthy. So, let’s all kick back and enjoy the fruits of our non-labor. After all, why work hard when you can hardly work?
Work kills – and the numbers show it! Apparently over 5k people in the US alone. A death trap I tell you.
Commandment 5 – If you see someone resting, help them out.
This commandment is the ultimate excuse to be lazy and unproductive, and blame it on your altruistic nature. So, next time you see someone napping, join them! It’s the neighborly thing to do.
Commandment 6 – Work as little as you can and transfer all the work you can to another.
Why do something yourself when you can delegate it to someone else? Let’s all be lazy and efficient at the same time! It’s multitasking at its finest.
This may also be a profound take on globalisation – and possibly about inequality in the modern world – or maybe someone who likes to shirk work. I reckon this rule is being observed outside Montenegro – don’t you?
Commandment 7 – There is salvation in shade. Nobody died from resting.
This commandment reminds us that it’s okay to be shady – literally. Let’s all seek the comfort of the shadows and avoid any unnecessary exertion.
After all, nobody ever died from resting. Right? Apart from the sloth guy in Se7en but that wasn’t real – was it?
Apparently, 5m people in the US died from laziness. Who would have thought?
Commandment 8 – Work causes illness. Do not pass away young.
Working is a death sentence. It’s like a game of Russian roulette, but instead of bullets, you have deadlines, emails, and meetings. So, let’s all avoid work like the plague and live long, prosperous, and lazy lives.
Commandment 9 – If you feel the urge to work, sit down, wait, and you’ll see it will pass.
Why do something productive when you can procrastinate? Let’s all sit back and wait for the motivation to kick in – or not. It’s like waiting for a bus, but instead of a bus, you get a nap.
The art of procrastination – i often leave a 30 min timer for procrastination – to ensure I maintain efficiency in my procrastination.
Why did the procrastinator cross the road? Because he finally got around to it… after checking his email, scrolling through social media, and binge-watching an entire TV series!
Commandment 10 – When you see people eating and drinking, approach them. When you see them working, turn back and do not trouble them.
This commandment is just plain rude. Let’s all respect people’s boundaries and priorities, whether they’re working, resting, or snacking and maybe even offer to bring them a snack or drink while they work. Or, better yet, join them in their snack break and forget about work altogether!
And make sure that the people who are working don’t read these rules!
Conclusion
In conclusion, the “10 Montenegrin Commandments” offer a hilarious take on the culture of laziness and relaxation. While it’s important to appreciate the value of rest and relaxation, it’s also important to find a balance between that and hard work, personal growth, and productivity. So, let’s take these commandments with a grain of salt and a good sense of humor.
We also have an annual laziness competition – which also seems to take longer and longer as our locals can endure slothiness for longer.
And let’s not forget that these 10 Montenegrin commandments do not reflect the true essence of the Montenegrin people, who are hardworking, driven, and passionate about their pursuits. So, keep working towards your goals and aspirations, while also taking time to rest and recharge. And if all else fails, take a nap. It’s the ultimate solution to any problem!
